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Corruption

CCTV and drones system to be used in the fight against ‘domestic rebels’

Just days after the launching of the first drone surveillance system in Juba, and the installation of the 11 CCTV cameras originally intended to curb crime, Saakam has learned the scheme has been expanded to track down ‘domestic rebels’ such as illegal sex workers, sinning and adulterous husbands and wives getting all illegal in hotels and brothels across the capital.

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UN takes full responsibility for Pres. Kiir’s insensitivity about the suffering of the people of South Sudan

The United Nation’s Mission in South Sudan (UNMISS) has come out and publicly claimed full responsibility for the almost psychopathic behaviour of the President of South Sudan, Pres. Salva Kiir, who – in interviews, public speeches and closed-door diplomatic meetings- continues to adamantly exempt himself of the responsibility of the woes that has befallen the young nation and its people.

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Tired of war, South Sudan musicians resolve to create crappy music

A group of extremely talented South Sudanese musicians have said they have had enough of this senseless war and worsening living conditions, and have resolved to act in unified protest by writing only annoying songs and producing crappy music to draw attention to the situation of the world’s newest nation.

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Donors: No more peace clowns

South Sudan donors, popularly known by several aliases such as ‘Friends of South Sudan’, Troika (USA, UK and Norway), together with other countries like China, Japan and even Ireland and Somalia have teamed up and are about to finalise a drafted radical plan that aims to revitalise not only the so-called peace process but also catapult the new nation into a futuristic dreamland where war, famine and disease could become ancient history.

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Female MPs call for neutering of the exposed secretive male-only ‘2nd wife’ allowance

A few women MPs at the National Legislative Council (NLC) have expressed their outrage upon discovery of a semi-secretive financial scheme known as the ‘second wife allowance’ that grants financial benefits to their bigamous and polygamous male colleagues and are calling for the immediate castration of this male-only allowance – Saakam has learned.

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South Sudan’s very own ‘Young Tycoon’ found stuck in a pay-as-you-go VIP toilet

South Sudanese billionaire aka The Young Tycoon, the step-son of the former SPLA Chief of General Staff Gen. Paul Malong Awan, was reportedly visibly distressed after being stuck for around two hours in a deluxe state-of-the-art pay-as-you-go VIP toilet in an undisclosed holiday resort when all his VISA credit cards were rejected just moments after the USA imposed sanctions on his step-father and froze all his ass-ets.

Continue reading “South Sudan’s very own ‘Young Tycoon’ found stuck in a pay-as-you-go VIP toilet”

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