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Intimidated MPs confide to Bishop about Kiir’s rule of terror, ask for asylum for their souls

An unknown number of petrified government MPs have confided to a Catholic Bishop that they are afraid, terrified, insecure and feel very much powerless in their roles as honourable members of the National Legislative Assembly (NLA) in the current government in the world’s newest nation headed by Pres. Salva Kiir Mayardit.

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Pres. Kiir rushes back to Juba ahead of Dr. Machar’s rumoured return

Reports of rebel leader and First Vice President Dr. Riek Machar’s unexpected and imminent return to Juba has caught many by surprise, including the President who is away touring Bahr El Ghazal. Saakam has learned that the tour is being cut short and arrangements are already in place to ensure Pres. Kiir is back in Juba before his nemesis arrives.

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South Sudan bans resurrecting-the-dead Prophets from visiting

South Sudan Ministry of Foreign Affairs has issued a blanket ban preventing self-proclaimed prophets, specialised in resurrecting the dead, from visiting the world’s newest nation.

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Wani Igga’s ‘Baba Ja’ song to become an alternative national anthem

A popular and simple tune composed by Wani Igga is about to be officially endorsed as an alternative national anthem of the world’s newest nation.

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JCE’s inspired plan to manage Pres. Kiir’s ‘happiness issue’

The Jieng Council of Elders (JCE) is recommending the creation of a specialised High Commission that will monitor, manage and sustain the state of happiness of Pres. Kiir. This comes after a recent independent study concluded that the state of the nation suffers, thousands die and many more pack their bags when Pres. Salva Kiir Mayardit is unhappy.

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Young Tycoon: I am not a Billionaire, in Dinka that word does not exist…

Self-proclaimed ‘blessed-by-Jesus’ billionaire Lawrence Lual Malong Yor Junior – aka as Young Tycoon – has issued a third press release clarifying that he is “not a Billionaire. In Dinka, that word does not exist. It is confusing… no one has ever had a billion cows!”

Continue reading “Young Tycoon: I am not a Billionaire, in Dinka that word does not exist…”

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