Sharing News Like It Never Happened, Making You Think Like You Count

South Sudan threatens to boycott UN General Assembly

With the 73rd General Assembly of the UN scheduled to kick off in New York, the Deputy Head of Mission at the South Sudan embassy in Washington, Ambassador Gordon Buay, has announced that the South Sudan delegation headed by First Vice President Taban Deng will not attend the UN meeting unless the Nuer language is added to the list of UN languages and a team of qualified Nuer language translators is hired to translate the sessions to the delegates.

Continue reading “South Sudan threatens to boycott UN General Assembly”


IGAD shrinks recommend: Machar not to be left alone with Kiir for more than 1 minute

An IGAD-formed specialist committee of highly qualified psychiatrists tasked with the secretive psychological evaluation of rebel leader Dr. Riek Machar have submitted their report and have concluded that although ‘the subject (Machar) has demonstrated some remarkable ability to suppress his personal dislike towards Pres. Kiir… it would be unwise to leave the two adversaries alone and unobserved for longer that one minute.’

Continue reading “IGAD shrinks recommend: Machar not to be left alone with Kiir for more than 1 minute”

Military tank and a helicopter found in Gen. Hoth’s Melbourne mansion

Authorities in Melbourne, Australia have revealed that a state-of-the-art amphibious military tank and a helicopter have been ‘found’ in the perhaps-soon-to-be-seized $1.5m (500m SSD) Melbourne mansion of the 22-year-old eldest son of Gen. Hoth Mai – the former Chief of General Staff of the South Sudan’s army.

Continue reading “Military tank and a helicopter found in Gen. Hoth’s Melbourne mansion”

Pres. Kiir declares 30 days of mourning following the death of TGoNU

President Salva Kiir has declared a period of one month of mourning following the death of the Transitional Government of National Unity or TGoNU as it’s more commonly known. Flags will be flown at half-mast and to end the mourning period a solemn ceremony will be held on the last day where a coffin full with pretend money symbolic of what has been achieved during this period and it will be buried next to our founder in chief John Garang.

Continue reading “Pres. Kiir declares 30 days of mourning following the death of TGoNU”

Ambassador Gordon Buay Rebels (again)…

The acting head of mission at the South Sudan Embassy in the United States, Ambassador Gordon Buay has rebelled and declared his allegiance to Dr. Machar SPLM-IO after President Kiir’s administration in Juba failed to officially promote and hand him the highly contested position of Ambassador to the USA which he says he has earned.
Continue reading “Ambassador Gordon Buay Rebels (again)…”

Personal doctor hints that Pres. Kiir has breast cancer

Out of what he says are pure concerns for the health of his patient, the personal physician of the President of South Sudan Dr. Mawien Akot – a renowned Breast Cancer specialist – has revealed that the President has multiple health issues, and joins others in advising the leader of South Sudan to step down as his cocktail of Scottish whisky and medical marijuana treatments have failed to cure his ailments.

Continue reading “Personal doctor hints that Pres. Kiir has breast cancer”

Blog at

Up ↑