An unknown number of petrified government MPs have confided to a Catholic Bishop that they are afraid, terrified, insecure and feel very much powerless in their roles as honourable members of the National Legislative Assembly (NLA) in the current government in the world’s newest nation headed by Pres. Salva Kiir Mayardit.
Reports of rebel leader and First Vice President Dr. Riek Machar’s unexpected and imminent return to Juba has caught many by surprise, including the President who is away touring Bahr El Ghazal. Saakam has learned that the tour is being cut short and arrangements are already in place to ensure Pres. Kiir is back in Juba before his nemesis arrives.
A popular and simple tune composed by Wani Igga is about to be officially endorsed as an alternative national anthem of the world’s newest nation.
The Jieng Council of Elders (JCE) is recommending the creation of a specialised High Commission that will monitor, manage and sustain the state of happiness of Pres. Kiir. This comes after a recent independent study concluded that the state of the nation suffers, thousands die and many more pack their bags when Pres. Salva Kiir Mayardit is unhappy.
Self-proclaimed ‘blessed-by-Jesus’ billionaire Lawrence Lual Malong Yor Junior – aka as Young Tycoon – has issued a third press release clarifying that he is “not a Billionaire. In Dinka, that word does not exist. It is confusing… no one has ever had a billion cows!”