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East Africa

Pres. Kiir declares 30 days of mourning following the death of TGoNU

President Salva Kiir has declared a period of one month of mourning following the death of the Transitional Government of National Unity or TGoNU as it’s more commonly known. Flags will be flown at half-mast and to end the mourning period a solemn ceremony will be held on the last day where a coffin full with pretend money symbolic of what has been achieved during this period and it will be buried next to our founder in chief John Garang.

Continue reading “Pres. Kiir declares 30 days of mourning following the death of TGoNU”

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Personal doctor hints that Pres. Kiir has breast cancer

Out of what he says are pure concerns for the health of his patient, the personal physician of the President of South Sudan Dr. Mawien Akot – a renowned Breast Cancer specialist – has revealed that the President has multiple health issues, and joins others in advising the leader of South Sudan to step down as his cocktail of Scottish whisky and medical marijuana treatments have failed to cure his ailments.

Continue reading “Personal doctor hints that Pres. Kiir has breast cancer”

Rebel alliance claims attack on personal assets amounts to a violation of the ceasefire agreement

The new alliance of opposition forces has filed a strong worded complaint with IGAD – the regional body trying to mediate a peaceful settlement in the world’s newest nation – accusing the government in Juba of another ceasefire violation after a series of seemingly non-violation associated but highly damaging attacks launched by Juba against interests directly and indirectly related to the members of their group.

Continue reading “Rebel alliance claims attack on personal assets amounts to a violation of the ceasefire agreement”

Kiir’s Press Secretary hijacks Radio Miraya to read out new MTN telephone numbers

Following the shutdown of the telecom firm Vivacell, Ateny Wek Ateny – the Press Secretary in the Office of the President- is said to have ‘hijacked for some minutes’ a talk show of the UN-sponsored Radio Miraya to read and repeat a long list of new MTN mobile telephones numbers (private and official) of himself, senior government officials, institutions and some JCE members.

Continue reading “Kiir’s Press Secretary hijacks Radio Miraya to read out new MTN telephone numbers”

Panic on Wall Street as South Sudan threatens to devalue the US dollar in protest of the US Arms Embargo

Near panic is spreading in Wall Street following reports that South Sudan is threatening to devalue all 160 billion US dollars “within its reach” as a bold reaction to the recently imposed arms embargo on the country, and has given Trump’s administration a week to reverse their actions or face their own demise – a spokesperson of the government told reporters today.  Continue reading “Panic on Wall Street as South Sudan threatens to devalue the US dollar in protest of the US Arms Embargo”

Church, government find single mother’s choice of baby’s name weird

A single mother in Juba has been the talk of the town, the subject of talk-show and headline news after a priest in a baptism ceremony refused point blank to christen her baby boy the name she had chosen.
Continue reading “Church, government find single mother’s choice of baby’s name weird”

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