Happy Electricity Day – Pres. Kiir wishes Juba residents

November 21 – Juba Electrification Day – has been declared National Electricity Day and will from the next 20 year be observed as such – the President of the world’s newest nation has spoken.

Kiir gives Machar a tour of the 2016 J1 battlefield

In what many witnesses described as one of the most heart-touching moments of Dr Machar’s visit to Juba since escaping death for the second time, Pres. Salva Kiir walked hand-in-hand with Machar as he slowly guided Dr Machar through the 2016 J1 battlefield where hundreds of soldiers from both sides perished.

Dr Biong declares Kiir victor, urges all opposition to surrender

Dr Luka Biong has openly declared that the Juba regime under Pres. Kiir has won the war. The SPLM-IO and all the other opposition groups have no other option but to suck up to this bitter fact, come running back to Juba and ask to be pardoned by the invincible President Salva Kiir Mayardit.

Boeing accepts challenge to build Kiir’s $73M crash-proof jet

Presented with what appears to be a set of impossible requirements, Boeing has stepped up to the challenge and agreed to build a pimped out, crash-proof, 4 wheel-drive, 7-seater $73M presidential jet for the President of the world’s newest nation,

Pres. Kiir awarded honorary title ‘Martyr of South Sudan’

On Martyrs’ Day, parliamentarians at South Sudan’s National Legislative Assembly (SSNLA) have unanimously voted to grant the very alive president the honorary title of  ‘Martyr of South Sudan’ for continuing to shed blood (not necessarily his own) for the sake of the world’s newest nation even after ‘the other martyrs stopped doing so’.

“Pres. Kiir’s picture can be used in his absence,” Ateny clarifies national anthem ban.

The presidential spokesperson has come out to clarify the order banning the singing of the national anthem in Pres. Kiir’s physical absence, saying it can still be sung in some special events provided the president’s physical presence is substituted for (or represented by) a huge officially approved framed picture of him.