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SPLM-IO

Exposed SPLM-IO commanders in consultations with traditional witch-doctors

Two senior SPLM-IO commanders exposed earlier last week have arrived in Abba in the Democratic Republic of Congo this week to consult with multiple Congolese Juju men. The SPLM-IO governor of Yei River state businessman Major General Frank Matata and middleman Lam Gabriel said they are in Congo to get the necessary charms that will protect them from the anger of Ngundeng in light of the undercover exposé reporting by documentary team members.

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South Sudan’s First Vice President applies for asylum in USA

The First Vice-President of South Sudan, H.E Taban Deng Gai, has reportedly applied for asylum in the United States under the grounds that he has reasonable fear for his life, his job and his livelihood.

He told the UN General Assembly that IGAD gave his job to the other SPLM-IO leader Riek Machar during the transitional period in the Revitalised Peace Agreement – and that is not cool!

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South Sudan threatens to boycott UN General Assembly

With the 73rd General Assembly of the UN scheduled to kick off in New York, the Deputy Head of Mission at the South Sudan embassy in Washington, Ambassador Gordon Buay, has announced that the South Sudan delegation headed by First Vice President Taban Deng will not attend the UN meeting unless the Nuer language is added to the list of UN languages and a team of qualified Nuer language translators is hired to translate the sessions to the delegates.

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IGAD shrinks recommend: Machar not to be left alone with Kiir for more than 1 minute

An IGAD-formed specialist committee of highly qualified psychiatrists tasked with the secretive psychological evaluation of rebel leader Dr. Riek Machar have submitted their report and have concluded that although ‘the subject (Machar) has demonstrated some remarkable ability to suppress his personal dislike towards Pres. Kiir… it would be unwise to leave the two adversaries alone and unobserved for longer that one minute.’

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Military tank and a helicopter found in Gen. Hoth’s Melbourne mansion

Authorities in Melbourne, Australia have revealed that a state-of-the-art amphibious military tank and a helicopter have been ‘found’ in the perhaps-soon-to-be-seized $1.5m (500m SSD) Melbourne mansion of the 22-year-old eldest son of Gen. Hoth Mai – the former Chief of General Staff of the South Sudan’s army.

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Pres. Kiir declares 30 days of mourning following the death of TGoNU

President Salva Kiir has declared a period of one month of mourning following the death of the Transitional Government of National Unity or TGoNU as it’s more commonly known. Flags will be flown at half-mast and to end the mourning period a solemn ceremony will be held on the last day where a coffin full with pretend money symbolic of what has been achieved during this period and it will be buried next to our founder in chief John Garang.

Continue reading “Pres. Kiir declares 30 days of mourning following the death of TGoNU”

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