Presented with what appears to be a set of impossible requirements, Boeing has stepped up to the challenge and agreed to build a pimped out, crash-proof, 4 wheel-drive, 7-seater $73M presidential jet for the President of the world’s newest nation,
Among other specifications that Boeing promised to fulfill include tinted windows; waterproof black boxes; inboard bulletproof, fire-resistant, self-piloting emergency parachutes; amphibious for Nile flights with a 4-wheel driving/landing/take-off capacity for the tough terrains across South Sudan.
Boeing also agreed to include free extras such as a state-of-art-technology to remotely clear runways and airstrips of goats and other IO (Immediate Obstruction) objects – not to be confused with IO (In Opposition) that is kinda essentially of the same differences.
Earlier this week, lawmakers at the National Assembly in Juba unanimously agreed that it is indeed time to reward and ‘give back’ to the generous President (through the use of national resources) and buy him his very own pimped-out jet!
“A few months back, the president recognised that we the MPs needed proper cars to do our work and he gifted each one of us $40,000. That gesture has not gone unnoticed… “, said one MP.
The MP was referring to a recent controversial scheme signed off by the President that gave the legislators $40,000 each ($16 million in total) at a time when the country was/is dependent on humanitarian aid and unable to pay its soldiers, civil servants and teachers for months.
“Today we say it is time to give back to Kiir what is Kiir’s… we needed cars to get to the parliament, His Excellency Pres. Salva Kiir needs a personal jet to get to the international parliaments where presidents do what they do… that is why we are approving 50, 60 or even 70 million United States of America dollars,” said one MP.
Meanwhile, Boeing has confirmed it will start working on the new presidential jet based on the requirements and specifications that they received from a secretive high-level delegation.
The technical high-level delegation to Boeing also insisted that, given the country’s fuel scarcity, that Kiir’s new jet must be able to fly on diesel, petrol or any combo of the cocktail of fuels that are sold locally in water bottles around town.
Hot on the heels of the Ugandan air fleet that is shortly to grace Juba International Airport on their twice-daily flights, this Presidential jet is expected to outshine all others shortly. President Kiir will be flying high visiting at home and abroad.
Saakam will, of course, grace our fans with more information about delivery as soon as it becomes available.