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South Sudan to be declared World Heritage site by UNESCO

The whole territory of South Sudan is scheduled to be taken on by UNESCO for preservation as a designated world heritage site – a ruling by the UN has concluded following irrefutable evidence that no known political or humanitarian approach can rescue the situation there.

Continue reading “South Sudan to be declared World Heritage site by UNESCO”

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CES reports mysterious disappearance of ‘Ghost Names’ after pay-roll cleansing operations

The government of Central Equatoria State (CES) has announced the mysterious disappearance of thousands of ‘Ghost Names’ from government pay-sheets just days after it launched a state-wide cleansing operation aimed at ridding it of corruption. Continue reading “CES reports mysterious disappearance of ‘Ghost Names’ after pay-roll cleansing operations”

Ethiopia wants the $2000-per-day allowance paid to Nhial Deng and others declared as taxable income

An Ethiopian MP is pushing for his government to collect income tax from South Sudanese officials who are being handsomely paid for every single day spent in Ethiopia under the pretext of the IGAD mediated peace talks to resolve the one-year old armed conflict in the world’s newest nation – South Sudan.

Continue reading “Ethiopia wants the $2000-per-day allowance paid to Nhial Deng and others declared as taxable income”

Exposed: Troika’s plan to install Kiir’s replacement

The government of South Sudan is claiming it has proof the Troika plans to remove President Kiir from power, undermine the IGAD peace talks, and install an interim government with the current Miss South Sudan as President of the republic.

Continue reading “Exposed: Troika’s plan to install Kiir’s replacement”

Nigerian sprinter could be stripped of gold medal after ‘Cheetah hair’ found in hair extension

Nigerian Okagbare celebrates after winning the women’s 100m
Nigerian Okagbare celebrates after winning the women’s 100m

Blessing Okagbare, the Nigerian female athlete who won two gold medals at the 2014 Commonwealth games, could become the second Nigerian to be stripped of her title after fragments and locks of ‘Cheetah fur’ were allegedly found in the blond hair extension she wore during the race that won her a gold medal.

According to the allegation, fur and other body parts of a Cheetah – the world’s fastest land animal – can enhance the speed and performance of a sprinter. Athletes who wear such performance enhancing parts as jewellery must be placed in the same category as those who use drugs and must also be published accordingly.

Okagbare finished the 100m women race in just 10.85 seconds as she blitzed to the finish line leaving her Jamaicans rivals chasing the pony tail of her blond hair extension that is alleged to contained Cheetah fur that ‘turboed’ her.

A technical committee, set up to investigate the claims, has already started reviewing frame-by-frame footage of the race. They will determine whether Okagbare’s performance was anything but human, and compare the findings with other races in which she only had her natural hair.

Samples of her hair extension have also been collected and the Afro-hair salon in Glasgow, where her dyed and plaited her hair, has been sealed off for further investigation.

okagbare

The committee could use as evidence scientific findings documented in over 850 transcripts from the ancient and renowned University of Tumbuktu, one of the world’s first university and home to fundamental discoveries and inventions of modern day science like the perfect round circle, the flat square and finger-counting to ten.

Although most of the transcripts are still classified (or have not been de-coded yet), investigators hope to find evidence and proof of the performance-enhancing powers of Cheetah fur.

‘Our committee of experts and the resources from the University of Tumbuktu will help us get to the bottom of this matter faster than Okagbare can cross the finish line without a blond wig with mysterious powers…. I am not saying that she had that substance in her hair, but we are getting there..’ said titleholder of the 60m wife-carrying championship who is also member of the technical committee.

If found guilty, Okagbare will need to find something with ‘verdict-reversing’ powers or ‘title-retaining’ ability to keep her current and past titles.

The technical committee is due to release a statement on the investigation. Until then, Ms Okagbare has been ‘officially requested’ not to ‘stay natural’ until the investigation is completed.

Meanwhile, the social media and internet forums has gone amok with queries and counter claims since the news surrounding the claims. One netizen claimed Usain Bolt’s ‘Lightening Bolt’ trademark pose influences performance and must be banned. Others claimed ex-basketballer Michael Jordon wore the same underwear to big matches and always won.

Another netizen from Nigerian claimed he has supplies for a range of ‘performance-enhancing’ animal-parts jewellery. Those interested only need to supply their account numbers and full address.

SPLM to tighten membership rules, make resignation harder yet profitable

Kiir's SPLM has secured mass resignations and defections recently. New rules could help?
Kiir’s SPLM has suffered mass resignations and defections recently. New rules and regulations could help?

Salva Kiir’s SPLM plans to amend its membership rules by adding stricter regulations to its Basic Documents that will make the resignation process a bit harder and, if it happens, earn the party some financial gains rather than losses, Saakam has learnt.

The amendments come as part of an ongoing process to reorganize and restructure the former guerilla movement into a viable modern political party. Some observers say these rush amendments specifically tuned on resignations are meant to counter the recent growing number of walkouts, defections and resignations.

Others believe the SPLM is catching up with what they rebels have recently done by being cautious and selective on whom they welcome into the rebellion. The SPLM seems more concerned about letting go who they already have, whereas the rebels vet members even before granting them membership.

But according to the architects of the new rules and regulations, the approach aims at reversing the loss of what they call ‘whining, disgruntled and disloyal’ members into a gain by demanding that resigning members pay all outstanding membership fees, an administrative fee to handle their request to resign and another ‘small’ fee to get an SPLM ex-membership card as legal proof of their disassociation with the party.

An optional recommendation letter could also be issued outlining the nice work an ex-member did for the party and the country over the years.

SPLM Chairman Salva Kiir had previously told contenders to 'form own party' if they did not like his rule
SPLM Chairman Salva Kiir had previously told contenders to ‘form own party’ if they did not like his rule

Potential members have been cautioned not to prematurely make announcements of their resignation before the process is finalized and an ex-membership card (that has an expiry date) is issued.

“Violators of these rules and regulations will be shamed and labelled as ‘rebels’, ‘supporters of Kokora’ and a few more bad names that could make it hard for them to be invited to social events or join another political party even SPLM-DC,” said a committee member assigned to compose the new regulations.

“We are sure our most committed members will follow these rules when they resign… it shows how disciplined and dedicated they are… they will be highly valued and respected in whatever they decide to do next,” he added.

 

 

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