With an ever-growing influence, presence and partaking of religious leaders in politics, high-level meetings and photo-ops with the president, it is only a matter of time before I’ve-been-feet-kissed-by-the-Pope President Salva Kiir assumes control and appoints able, loyal and like-minded spiritual leaders to head our religious branches of government –
Minister of Information Mike Makuei told reporters.

According to the Minister, all religious institutions will continue to be sovereign and independent – like the legislative and judicial branches – without any pressure or interference from the state as long as they stay loyal and obedient to the presidency under the wise and democratic rule of H.E President Kiir.

The inevitable fact he said has already gotten the blessings of Christian and Muslims and that the new Bishops-by-Presidential-decree could be announced very soon.

“We have been talking to our Bishops in government, and also talking to the Islamic Council of Churches and we have reached a revitalised agreement that things need to be as Pres. Kiir desires. This will give the spiritual leaders more authority when they pray or speak to their gods as representatives of this country, and they will also get new V8 cars just like all national Ministers do.”

With a revitalised agreement or not with the Bishops-in-government or the Islamic Council of Churches, many do not see just want Pres. Kiir to leave the church alone and go form his own Kiirstian congregation.

“God is everywhere, and even pontificating with his Ambassador from the Holy See seated in Juba to give bucket loads of thoughts and prayers to this godforsaken nation,” says Dr Kak Akwa, Saakam’s resident expert on all the holy bits in the King Gbudwe Bible.

Saakam was unable to reach the Islamic Council of Churches for comments, but as always, we shall keep you updated.

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