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Donors: No more peace clowns

South Sudan donors, popularly known by several aliases such as ‘Friends of South Sudan’, Troika (USA, UK and Norway), together with other countries like China, Japan and even Ireland and Somalia have teamed up and are about to finalise a drafted radical plan that aims to revitalise not only the so-called peace process but also catapult the new nation into a futuristic dreamland where war, famine and disease could become ancient history.

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FVP Taban Deng accuses neighbours of recruiting refugees as refugees

South Sudan is safe and those fleeing the country are only doing so because neighbouring countries Uganda, Sudan and Ethiopia are actively recruiting refugees as refugees – Taban Deng Gai, the second First Vice President of South Sudan and commander-in-chief of the rebels-in-government (SPLA-IO-IG) told reporters this week.FVP Taban Deng accuses neighbours of recruiting refugees as refugees

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South Sudan’s very own ‘Young Tycoon’ found stuck in a pay-as-you-go VIP toilet

South Sudanese billionaire aka The Young Tycoon, the step-son of the former SPLA Chief of General Staff Gen. Paul Malong Awan, was reportedly visibly distressed after being stuck for around two hours in a deluxe state-of-the-art pay-as-you-go VIP toilet in an undisclosed holiday resort when all his VISA credit cards were rejected just moments after the USA imposed sanctions on his step-father and froze all his ass-ets.

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Ex army chief Malong calls for regional protection force before return to Juba

Former SPLA Chief of General Staff Gen. Paul Malong is preconditioning that a regional protection force – preferably from Kenya – be present in Juba, the capital of South Sudan, before he sets foot there.

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South Sudan to auction off tractors to buy food

South Sudan is to auction off a field of tractors in order to buy food as both the economic crisis and famine collide in the countryside, Saakam has learnt.

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Sudan donates funds to enable broke ‘sister’ South Sudan celebrate independence day

The Sudanese embassy in Juba, South Sudan has announced that its government in Khartoum – embarrassed that South Sudan was too broke to celebrate its independence anniversary – will donate around half a million dollars towards nation-wide celebrations commemorating the independence of the world’s youngest nation.

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