An IGAD-formed specialist committee of highly qualified psychiatrists tasked with the secretive psychological evaluation of rebel leader Dr. Riek Machar have submitted their report and have concluded that although ‘the subject (Machar) has demonstrated some remarkable ability to suppress his personal dislike towards Pres. Kiir… it would be unwise to leave the two adversaries alone and unobserved for longer that one minute.’

The 211-page psycho-eval report also suggested that Dr. Machar must not be rushed to shake hands with Pres. Kiir nor must he be expected to smile at the same time as shaking hands. According to the psychologists, the part of the brain that suppresses dislike or hate is the same part that fakes smiles, and the two feelings cannot be processed or falsified at the same time – thus the caution to manage expectations of a wide smile and a handshake from Dr. Machar.

Pres. Salva Kiir and rebel leader Riek Machar are expected meet face-to-face to primarily re-enact an Uhuru-Raila-style handshake. They are also expected to try reach some sort of miraculous agreement that can only reached when/if the two egos look each other in the eye to really see the suffering each has caused the other person. IGAD believes that since the two appear to be immune, blind, deaf and dump towards the sufferings inflicted on their own people, they might see (during the face-to-face meeting) the signs of doom on their own faces and reach an agreement to continue looting and destroying the country together like in the old times.

It is unclear how long IGAD has been running a psycho-evaluation on the under-house-arrest-rebel-leader, but some tell-tell signs in the report suggest that the house was fitted with tension-detecting state-of-art motion cameras that measured everything from stress levels, body temperature, heartbeat rate, pupil dilation etc.

“Machar was not under house-arrest, he was in an IGAD psycho-eval facility in South Africa that was built like a house – a very nice house. Every time he watched news that showed pictures or images of Pres. Salva Kiir, his temperature and stress levels were monitored remotely! What IGAD wants us to believe is that he is to be released… but we all know he has been treated and maybe he is now more capable to control his anger and that of his often crazy trigger-happy followers…”

With the report concluding that Dr. Machar could be a some kind of a risk, it is unclear whether IGAD will still go ahead with the option of locking up the two inside a room until they reach an agreement – i.e decide to not hurt each other, work together to continue doing what they used to do….

Earlier on, Juba had also expressed reservations about leaving President Kiir alone in a room with Machar considering that the last time they had a face-to-face meeting, Machar allegedly had in his person a loaded pistol.

“We were initially concerned about what Machar might bring with him to the meeting, but we trust that following his detention and rehabilitation, he now knows better….” said Ateny Wek, the press secretary of the President.