President Uhuru of Kenya has publicly come out to regret the role his country has played in teaching South Sudanese former rebels-turned-government officials how to manipulate opportunities to benefit themselves and their relatives at the expense of the state – Saakam has learned.

Uhuru Kenyatta was speaking at a small gathering commemorating the wins that the Ethics and Anti-corruption Commission in Kenya has gained in their own “war against corruption”.

He said, while Kenya is now moving on from those dark days, South Sudan has started on, and has modernized and improved the old corrupt tricks that Kenya has now sworn to eradicate. And that is a sad fact that he is ready to take full responsibility of, and to try to help the young nation recover from – that is if South Sudan agrees to pay for the service by hiring more Kenyans as consultants for the job.

South Sudan, the world newest nation, has been doing Houdini tricks on billions of US dollars before and after its independence a few years ago. Since then, it has been competing on and off with Somalia to get to the top list of the world’s most corrupt and fragile nations. Kenya and Nigeria – veterans in the field – have since given up the struggle, leaving the two to rival for the gold position.

“Corruption is the only disease that benefits the affected and causes a plague on everyone else,” said Dr. Kak Akwa, resident expert on everything related to South Sudan.

President Uhuru’s announcement comes as welcome news especially to the ears of ex-corrupt Kenyans currently in South Sudan. Business-man Geoffrey Shiholo, a self-confessed ex-corrupt Kenyan traffic-police currently doing business in South Sudan, said he left Kenya but he still sees Kenyan-imported tricks everywhere in South Sudan.

“..every day I come across distinct Kenya-like extortion methods that could only have been learned and taught by Kenyans. I even met a South Sudanese Nilotic traffic police who spoke in a Kikuyu accent! That was when I knew, Kenya will one day have to invade South Sudan like other regional powers, but it will be to fight corruption…”