The Vice-President of South Sudan H.E James Wani Igga has issued a strong-worded statement complaining that he was treated ‘like an ordinary traveller’ after US and UN authorities allegedly failed to give him the reception worthy of a High Level State Representative of the world’s newest nation, forcing him to do the unbelievable and exit the airport ‘like an ordinary’ economy class traveller.

“Such a treatment was unexpected from the host of the United Nations,” read the statement referring to the UN to whom the Government of South Sudan has entrusted the responsibility of its population (mainly women and children) while its leaders took upon themselves the vital national issues like battling and negotiating amongst themselves for positions and power.

“Like any other traveller” –the protest statement continued to read – none other than the VICE PRESIDENT and his High-Level Delegation were left to find their own way through the passport control, the customs, baggage collection and out to the arrival lounge where a few South Sudanese were waiting.

According to eye-witnesses, the articulate, bald-headed Minister of Foreign Affairs H.E Dr. Benjamin Marial was spotted struggling with a loaded trolley, probably loaded with cases belongings of the VP’s wife. Crystal sweat droplets were evident dripping down his smooth head (arguably containing water cleaner than what most South Sudanese hope to consume per year).

Thanks only to a few ever-loyal, obedient and able diplomatic staff from the South Sudan Embassy in the US who came to the his rescue, the Minister was able to take a breath and diplomatically ruminate on all the numerous reasons his sweat glands were forced into service after years of privileged-do-nothing-ness as a Kiiristian government official.

Going back in time, earlier in the week, the President of South Sudan allegedly complained he was being disrespected and summoned “like a school boy”. In protest, he decided against attending the UN meetings in New York and instead, he sent VP Igga. As if adding fuel to fire, or salt to a fresh wound, this alleged neglect by US officials treating VP Igga like any mere mortal – and that of HE Marial for pushing an airport trolley and making him sweat like a peasant – amounts blasphemy to the followers and believers of ‘Kiiristianism’ a new phenomenon that identifies followers and supporters of Salva Kiir, the son of Mayar, husband of Ayen and the current Presider of the future of the young nation of South Sudan.

There has so far not been any reaction or statement made from the US authorities nor the UN.

However, reports making rounds in the social media suggest that the “rebel leader” and soon to be sworn-in Vice-President Riek Machar is anticipating a red-carpet Hollywood-style treatment on his arrival to the US in a few hours. He is expected to have lunch and then follow-up meeting with the Pope.

Recently, the Government of South Sudan reluctantly signed a peace deal with itself. The Compromise Peace Agreement is meant to end almost two years of conflict and internal strife in the world’s newest cry-baby country. According to the agreement, rebel leader (and soon to be well-received in the US) Riek Machar will assume the position of FIRST Vice President, pipping VP Igga from his current pole position.