Toby Lanzer, the UN relief coordination recently expelled from South Sudan (and told never to come back) is said to have been accidentally invited to attend the celebrations of the 4th anniversary of South Sudan Independence.

The invitation, reportedly delivered to the UN house in Juba a few days ago, also contained a VIP pass for the coordinator who also doubles up as deputy United Nations envoy.

Sources in Juba said Toby Lanzer was a no-show at the celebrations in Juba on the 9th of this month, much to the delight of the organizers of the event who have been praying the blunder goes away unnoticed and the story does not get ‘saakam-ed’.

Although the invitation package was clearly addressed to “Mr. Toby Lanzer, Deputy Envoy of the United Nations to the Republic of South Sudan”, organizers of the event denied that the invite was meant for the person “Toby Lanzer”, but rather for the “Toby Lanzer” position or whoever currently holds that post.

“We clearly said we do not want Mr. Toby Lanzer back in South Sudan. For the 4th anniversary of our independence, we sent out invitations to all diplomatic corps including the United Nations and whoever is ‘Toby-Lanzering’ that position now… maybe his name was printed on the card, but he should use his common sense and know he is not really welcome,”

South Sudan expelled the relief coordinator over his statement predicting that the young nation was hopelessly doomed to total collapse. His expulsion was internationally met by condemnation of the government and more worries, and ‘expert predictions’ that without him, South Sudan was even more doomed to total and utter collapse.

Despite repeated calls to reverse the decision, the government has stood its ground saying the state might have failed but it is not (yet) collapsing.

“It is unforgivable to wish a child (who is struggling to walk) that it will fall, break its teeth and die – even in England in the olden days, they would think you a witch and burn you…”

Some political commentator believe Toby Lanzer is secretly glad he is not returning to that country.

“No one wants to be around when a failed state like South Sudan collapses”

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