Riek and Kiir's group united in protest against remarks calling the leaders 'stupid'
Riek’s and Kiir’s groups united in protest of remarks by an IGAD executive calling the leaders ‘stupid’

The Government of South Sudan and the SPLM-in-Opposition have agreed to unite as one and table a joint complaint to IGAD in protest of a statement calling the leaders of the two groups ‘stupid’ for seeking a military victory rather than a negotiated settlement to the crisis in the country.

According to sources here in Juba, the government has already put together a small team of its most verbose loyalists headed by Angry Makuei to team up with an equally compressed but highly verbose group from Riek’s side to coordinate strategies and finalize a strong worded joint protest letter that will be handed to IGAD before the end of the week.

A joint press conference by leaders of the groups is planned shortly after that.

The two groups have already expressed their stand on the matter and are prepared to walkout of the peace negotiations together and meet in the battlefields to show they are not what the IGAD officials think about them.

The unexpected unification of the two warring groups – albeit in protest of something – is being seen by some QWERTY experts as the biggest achievement so far by IGAD in trying to bring the two together and resolve the 6-month conflict.

The remark that allegedly referred to the two leaders as ‘stupid’ if they thought they could win in the battlefield is said to have been made by the Execute Secretary of IGAD, an Ethiopian national by the name of Mahboub Maalim.

“We tried everything and they have always disagreed on almost all issues. Now, our Executive Secretary thought of this ingenious way to pretend to attack both of them at the same time and they unite,” said one Murkub Abu Shamal, a junior secretary at IGAD.

But an official from the Government of South Sudan who is also a member of the Joint Protest Committee (JPC) said the main reason they are protesting has nothing much to do with what Abu Shamal stated.

“It is not that we are united, it is just that we both agree that Riek and Kiir can not be stupid at the same time – IGAD has to decide which one of them is it! It is just like saying both of them are Presidents, or both are rebels… or both of them are Nuer, or both are Dinka…that is not possible – Both SPLM-IO – the self-made rebels, and we, the democratically elected leaders, agree the title has to be given to one and not both…”

“It will be stupid of IGAD to take this insult against our leaders lightly, otherwise we are prepared to boycott this whole peace process and continue this war until the last person alive will be declared the winner…”