Joining the rebels as a general without your own soldiers just got tricky
Joining the rebels as a general without your own soldiers just got tricky (photo:wiki)

The growing and overwhelming number of white-collar defectors, army generals without armies and the many very angry men leaving Juba to join the armed and political opposition against Kiir’s crumbling regime is on the brink as rebels can not take it any more and are cautiously reconsidering their open-arms approach.

A new policy that requires a stricter and more selective attitude is being considered where defectors will be vetted and only granted varying classifications of membership depending on how well they fit in the yet-to-be-developed program of the rebellion.

According to insiders, white-collar defectors who highly class themselves will go through a few gruelling interviews in front of the leadership where they will be quizzed about concepts like:- the vision of New Sudan; the pros and cons of Federalism in respect to other systems of governance and why is there only one bridge across the Nile in South Sudan.

“We shall need more than just being disgruntled with Kiir to deserve a seat in this fast-moving train of revolutionary transformation. This movement does not stop when Kiir goes…”

High ranking officers defecting from the SPLA will be under go a separate set of undisclosed tests before they are redeployed back to the front-lines.

All other people who are very very angry with the regime in Juba will not have their application for membership processed in Addis Ababa as of next week but will be given free access to the internet during their stay in Ethiopia to vent their anger and work out other reasons, other than the obvious, to build a nation (as opposed to destroying one).

However, while the rebels defend this move as a measure to avoid the mistakes made during the formation of the SPLA in 1983 where everyone who was angry was allowed to fight as long as they all pointed their gun at the Jallaba, a few of the angry men they say they have not been welcomed as they loiter for days in the corridors of the hotels in Addis Ababa waiting for recognition, accommodation, inclusion in rebel committees and receiving a piece of the much talked about IGAD per diems.

“No one will be turned away from denouncing the corrupt regime in Juba and working for its change and collapse,” said an insider who chose to remain unnamed for fear of the few angry men in Addis Ababa.

“As the saying goes, an enemy of an enemy is a friend but not a comrade,” he added.